Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
