he puts the penis in happiness.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
