You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
