this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
