She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
