I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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