please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
my liver is dry heaving
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
