before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
