Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you will always have a special place in my vag
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
