Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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