I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
