This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize