it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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