Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My hand turned me down
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
