Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
