the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
oh god the rape fog is back!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
