The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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