So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
