Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
