She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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