I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
