What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
