Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
