cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
