how can u be prego again
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize