you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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