im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
