peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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