So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Watching her eat just hurts me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
