Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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