My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
