Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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