sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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