Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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