Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
