I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
