Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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