There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
