Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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