A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
