Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
