I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I said "one day" and that day is not today
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
