girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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