Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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