I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize