what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
