I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
