i don't like sucking hair
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
