my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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