I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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