I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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