is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I DEMAND FORESKIN
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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