to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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