If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
