I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
