WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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