I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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