Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
