This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
