my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
