Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
